appearence

topic posted Sat, February 9, 2008 - 8:02 AM by  Katrina
This is a strange question, but a concern I have about being in India and the appropriate clothing you should wear in respect to the culture. Even though I won´t because I´m white, I´d like to try and blend in as best as possible. I imagine in each area it´s different? Or is the saari good for everywhere?
I have a lot of tattoos on one of my arms, and I didn´t know if it was considered rude or something to have your arms showing. I know that sounds strange, and I know India´s so exotic appreance-wise in many ways, but I also know it´s very conservative. I´m living in S. America right now, and I experience it, at least where I am, being really weird showing my arms much in public, as it is a conservative society. Anyway, just some thoughts! Thanks!
posted by:
Katrina
Seattle
  • Re: appearence

    Sat, February 9, 2008 - 9:40 AM
    oh boy, this thread is going to have a huge variety of replies...

    general rule of thumb though:
    ***cover your shoulders & don't wear shorts or short skirts***
    (unless in goa...anything goes there)

    you do not *need* to wear traditional indian clothes for security or respect
    i never ever have, i have traveled everywhere and i have NEVER had a problem
    so do not think you need to wear a sari, etc to be "safer"

    but please do wear the traditional clothes if you are inspired to do so!
    there are so many beautiful clothes here and you will probably gain respect from locals who appreciate your appreciation of their ways

    btw there are so many tattooed, dreadlocked, peirced, etc etc people traveling in india.
    you're gonna get looked at no matter what if you're white...or from another country.
    i have spent the last 3 seasons here with multi colored hair extensions and if anything, the local people tell me they like it.
    • Re: appearence

      Sun, February 10, 2008 - 7:48 PM
      I agree with what Dwanjabi says.

      Keep your shoulders covered, short sleeves are fine no need for long sleeves. If you wear bracelets or bangles or a watch it looks more dressed to Indian people. A wrist looks naked if wearing short sleeves. Also a necklace keeps a scoop neck top from looking under dressed.

      Wearing a sari will get you lots of compliments precisely because it is not expected. Get some instruction on how to drape correctly and use safety pins so it doesn't come undone. And if you do wear a sari, make sure it touches the ground. Saris worn short are best not worn at all.

      The Salwar Kameez is very comfortable to wear, easy to put on, and comes in so many varieties. I much prefer that and bought several while in India. I'd wear them more here, but it is usually too cold in northern California for me to wear them. I love them, though.

      Also, whether in Western clothes or Indian, keep your ankles covered up. It is considered a sexy area on a woman. If you expose them you are thought to be either racy or naive. Bare feet or exposed feet in sandals are fine, though.
  • Re: appearence

    Sat, February 9, 2008 - 11:33 AM
    you would probably be wearing a salwar kameez not a sari if you were going to go traditional. saris are pretty hard to put on correctly from what i hear!
    • Re: appearence

      Sat, February 9, 2008 - 11:40 AM
      oh, and india has a cultural tradition of tattooing. various tribes and castes traditionally tattooed themselves, particularly women. i've had grandmothers and nine year olds laughingly compare their tattoos with mine.
      • Re: appearence

        Sat, February 9, 2008 - 11:42 AM
        I think tattoos are reserved for the poor and uneducated, in modern India
        • Re: appearence

          Sat, February 9, 2008 - 5:48 PM
          traditional ones probably yes. though i imagine modern tattoos have made some inroads among the young urban elite.


          "I think tattoos are reserved for the poor and uneducated, in modern India"
        • Re: appearence

          Mon, February 11, 2008 - 12:10 AM
          no way! Yes, it's true that villagers (many of whom are not poor, but might not be fluent in English, if that's how one must define education in post-colonial South Asia---forgive me, that's another rant) often have tattooos on their hands of an om, but there are PLENTY of highly-educated urban Indians (mostly the under-25 set) who have tattoos. Remember there is a booming rock scene in India (especially in the NE parts, but all over the place really) and this lends itself to tattoos, non-traditional piercings, etc.

          Moreover, there's a strong tradition of tatooing the arms in Orissa among women of all castes. Don't know much about it, though.

          ANd honestly, cover as much as you feel comfortable with, but I don't think your tattoos will be offensive (unless they are of naked ladies or something). Will probably cause a lot of staring but it will also give people an excuses to come and chat with you. :)
    • Re: appearence

      Sat, February 9, 2008 - 2:47 PM
      Salwar kameez is so comfortable, you never want to take it off ever agai n. I live in California and I wear Salwar Kameez in the summer because it is so comfortable and it is light and keeps you cool without showing alot of skin.
      I wish they would make woolen once to wear in the winter.
      I think another good option would be linnen pants with kurti.
      • Re: appearence

        Sat, February 9, 2008 - 5:21 PM
        dwan is right, india has greatttttt clothes. all kinds. such shopping.

        but im a BIG fan of the sari. all our ladies wear them. u kno it is the only garment still worn in a contemporary context, that comes from antiquity. now the younger gen wear gopi skirts (lehangas) a lot. and they are easier to wear than a sari if u are not acustomed to or kno how to properly wrap. how i cant stand seeing a women with a sari yanked up to above their ankles. fugly and simply awffulllll lol. it should pool and drag on the floor covering the feet.....


        salwar is aiite. its respectable tho.....

        and if u do choose to wear traditional / devotional clothes. ppl love it. trust me. when in india i usually always wear traditional clothes and not only do ppl love it. they come up to u and offer respects as well :)
  • Re: appearence

    Sat, February 9, 2008 - 8:03 PM
    Speaking of clothing. I've been thinking about getting some things from Utsav www.utsavsarees.com/pages/sale.asp

    They have some gorgeous things. I particularly love some of their lenghas.

    Does anyone still wear the Neru jackets? I love those too. I looked through ebay for some, but they're all so expensive.
  • Re: appearence

    Mon, February 11, 2008 - 7:22 PM
    Katrina

    It really depends on WHERE you are in India. There are some places that are still very traditional. Saris are not necessary, but it's the right thing to do to respect the culture. If you're in a conservative area, cover your shoulders, cleavage and wear your pants/ skirt/ sari to the floor.

    People will wonder about your tatoos, but it's not necessary to cover them.

    But, it's true. No matter what everyone is going to look at you. Just smile and say hello.

    Enjoy!
    • Re: appearence

      Thu, February 14, 2008 - 6:40 PM
      "wear your pants/ skirt/ sari to the floor"

      Tall girl here, skirts don't go to the floor on me EVER unless they are custom made. . . . and I'm hesitant to wear pants since squat toilets abound and being western it's going to be a bit of a challenge just going to the bathroom in a skirt as it is. . . . I guess I need to re-asses what I thought would be OK for my travels. . . .
    • Re: appearence

      Fri, February 29, 2008 - 8:15 AM
      Hi Katrina

      I certainly didn't mean that you should wear a sari. I meant, respect the culture wherever you are. Some places are quite touristy and the locals are used to seeing a little cleavage. Other places, not so much.

      Hope you have a great trip. Enjoy!
  • Re: appearence

    Thu, February 14, 2008 - 6:05 AM
    Your best bet for clothes will be to wear modest Western dress or a combination like a short kurti top with jeans or a skirt. Salwar kameez are great if you want some traditional clothes. I love the handloomed cotton ones. But salwar kameez come with a long scarf (dupatta) which can be a hassle to keep track of if you are not used to wearing one. As for sarees, a non-Indian will attract MUCH MORE attention wearing one than if they wear decent Western dress. I know this from personal experience after having worn sarees for 2 weeks straight while in South India. Wearing traditional dress is not expected of you but it is a nice guesture which many will appreciate.

    Wait til you get to India to buy your clothes. The prices are so much cheaper there and the selection of styles so much better!

    No need to cover your tattoos but they will likely garner you a lot of curious stares. But you may be used to that already......
    Enjoy your trip!
  • Re: appearence

    Sat, February 16, 2008 - 10:09 AM
    i would not suggest wearing a sari under any circumstances unless you have a lot of practice wearing one. i've been doing indian / bengali folk dance for three years and putting a sari on and keeping it where it needs to be is still an ongoing challenge.

    as a traveller you are going to need to do many things you may have never done - climbing into train berths or bus seats, going to the bathroom in unfamiliar toilet set-ups, travelling by foot. you want to make sure you're doing these things in an outfit that you can stay modestly covered in and feel comfortable moving in. believe me, if you try to add six yards of cloth tucked around your waist to the mix, you're going to give yourself an incredible headache.

    i would stick with the salwar kameez if you want to wear more indian clothing. i'm a visibly tattooed woman, and it worked well for me.

    one last thing - you may want to just let go of the notion that you're going to be able to blend in, tattoos or no tattoos. people are going to be looking at you almost every minute of every day that you spend in public. it's better to just try to come to terms with that if you can, and dress reasonably.

    have a great trip!
    • Re: appearence

      Mon, February 18, 2008 - 8:46 PM
      it's true, the staring is outrageous. it can really wear on you, but they are very curious and apparently it's okay to stare...

      punjabi or salwar is great. also, you can wear a skirt with a blouse, indian style, and this doesn't require a dupatta or shawl. it's very village school girl, but so so easy to wear. the pants under salwar or punjabi can be annoying when washing your nether regions with water after using the toilet. there's nothing to dry off with and you pants can get wet. not terrible, tho!
      • rax
        rax
        online 7

        Re: appearence

        Sun, March 2, 2008 - 11:40 PM
        > it's true, the staring is outrageous. it can really wear on you, but they are very curious and apparently it's okay to stare...

        Yup, we were never taught that it was wrong to stare/look at something unusual and perhaps beautiful.
        I'd imagine that you'd get the same stares if you went to rural Africa or rural China as well.
        I'd also imagine that if you put a pink elephant in a room with grey elephants, he'd get a whole lot of stares.
        Its natural.
  • Re: appearence

    Sun, March 2, 2008 - 10:16 PM
    Saree will not work everywhere. Saree will not cover all tattoo you have. And there no need to SHOW your tattoos in India. Best dress is full sleeves salwar kamis. And my Indian eyes and mind says it will work throu out india. It always advisable to mobile. Have a happy tour. Raju :)
    • Re: appearence

      Sun, March 2, 2008 - 10:17 PM
      I wonder if that applies to men as well as women...
      • Re: appearence

        Sun, March 2, 2008 - 10:43 PM
        not so much, as men don't get the same kind of attention that women do in india. we get stared at, but not as aggressively. regardless, men in india wear western clothes, slacks and a button down shirt generally.
        • Re: appearence

          Tue, April 8, 2008 - 8:03 AM
          Thanks for all the replies!
          Well, living in S. America I´m totally with the staring, even though I absoloutely can´t stand it. I don´t know if anyone could ever get used to it. Foreign friends of mine here are always saying how you should tell them to fuck off and give them an attitude, but my opinion on it is that, this is the way they grew up, this is their culture, the way they were raised to view women, unfortunately. They wouldn´t really understand if someone told them it was weird or rude not to stare, no? Either way it sucks!
          Great suggestions for women´s clothing. I would be traveling with my boyfriend, so what are some good guidelines for men´s clothing?
          • Re: appearence

            Tue, April 8, 2008 - 12:13 PM
            I wear traditional Middle Eastern clothes here in the US and still get stared at a lot as well, even though this is San Francisco! So I guess you will get stares and gawking no matter where you are if you look foreign :) Try to have fun with it and just smile back :)
            • Re: appearence

              Tue, April 8, 2008 - 5:23 PM
              When I was in India, I found that I stared too, at people who were obviously not Indian, wondering what they were doing in town and what their story was.
              • Re: appearence

                Wed, April 9, 2008 - 4:17 PM
                I feel the same way, Cynthia. If I were in India I would probably be staring at the Westerners, even though I am a Westerner myself! haha People always ask me what my story is, a non-Indian Hindu. I would wonder the same thing about another non-Indian Hindu!
                • Re: appearence

                  Fri, April 11, 2008 - 11:06 PM
                  i am agreeing that staring is natural wherever you go, however it's this innocent staring where they really don't realize how much they are staring at you or that it is bothering you. culturally, it's just different. i was taught my whole childhood not to stare at people, even if they were different, interesting, etc. i mean, you can walk around in the US practically wearing a gorilla suit and people might stare for a little bit, but they often won't say a word about it. like, it's rude to ask or point out that you are wearing a gorilla suit. just walking around in india, people would stop us and try to get us into a conversation, ask, how do you like wearing sari, isn't it very hard for you? they'd touch my tattoo saying, oh, what is this and does it hurt? mostly, people are so nice, but the staring is really hard. i am a tall woman and have almost blonde hair, so it was excruciating for me sometimes. walking past a group of young men, they would just laugh and laugh while practically falling on each other walking past us. like seeing 2 foriegn women and a man walking together in punjabi and sari was the most outrageous thing they'd ever seen in their life. hey, don't misunderstand me, it's a cultural thing and i totally get it, it's just difficult being abroad in many ways.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: appearence

                    Mon, April 14, 2008 - 1:30 PM
                    i mean, you can walk around in the US practically wearing a gorilla suit and people might stare for a little bit

                    Not in San Francisco.......no staring for a little bit here........
          • Re: appearence

            Sun, April 13, 2008 - 6:46 PM
            one word of advice if you're traveling partnered...avoid PDA as much as possible. opposite sex PDS is just not common there (although in many places men holding hands was very typical to see--i was told this is a friendship thing and not a gay thing, but i have been told i am naive for believing that so who knows). anyway, even holding hands felt kinda wrong, save for goa which was extremely westernized.
            • Re: appearence

              Sun, April 13, 2008 - 8:58 PM
              you know, I was really anal about that when I was there so as not to offend anybody, and it was such a departure from how my fiancee and I act normally that, it being her first time to asia and being a bit out of sorts, avoiding physical contact that much was emotionally wearing. in retrospect, I would trade glares and dirty looks for avoiding my partner like the plague, at least in non-temple settings. it's one thing that I do regret about being very sensitive to ettiquette. I don't plan on sucking face when we go back, but I am gonna put my partner's needs above that of people I don't know in the future, for better or worse. maybe it's callous but I'm gonna have her around for the rest of my life and not the other way around!
  • Re: appearence

    Mon, April 14, 2008 - 1:38 AM
    actually i would like to put forward the opinion that we shouldn't give a crap about such conservative mores. if you were in some conservative small town in the south what would you think of the motives and opinions of the judgmental folks that told what you could and could not do?

    if i'm in a temple or some such i take off my shoes or cover my head etc. but if i'm out in public what it comes down to is how comfortable i feel with the attention i receive. if you're a woman in india that may be so extreme that you think it worth it to modify your behavior. luckily as a guy i didn't get that kind of attention and so didn't really have to alter my behavior much.

    we're all citizens of the world, and frankly i think this oh so delicate concern of western travelers is patronizing, and a sop for the guilt of having the privilege to move throughout the world and interact with people without that privilege.
    • Re: appearence

      Mon, April 14, 2008 - 1:40 AM
      such conservative folk would probably be far more horrified if their sons or daughters married someone of a different caste, what makes one norm different than the other?

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